Let’s look at how to express “give” and “receive” in Japanese. The key is choosing the correct verb without changing the speaker’s standpoint. This choice depends on who is inside or outside the speaker’s social circle.
See the diagram below.
NOTES:
くださる is the honorific form of くれる
さしあげる is the humble form of あげる
いただく is the humble form of もらう
Uchi (内) and Soto (外)
In Japanese, it’s important to understand the speaker’s standpoint in terms of uchi (inner circle) and soto (outer circle).
- The uchi circle includes:
- The speaker (yourself)
- People emotionally close to you, such as family members
- Anyone else is considered soto (outside the circle)
As a rule:
- くれる always involves someone giving to the uchi side
- あげる and もらう can be used for actions involving people outside the uchi circle
Also, 「私（わたし）」 is often omitted when it’s clear who the speaker is.
Examples Based on the Diagram
Inside the UCHI Circle
（私は）母にプレゼントをあげました。
/(watashi wa) haha ni purezento o agemashita./
I gave my mother a gift.
母が（私に）プレゼントをくれました。
/haha ga (watashi ni) purezento o kuremashita./
My mother gave me a gift.
（私は）母にプレゼントをもらいました。
/(watashi wa) haha ni purezento o moraimashita./
I received a gift from my mother.
Including the SOTO Circle
（私は）田中さんにプレゼントをあげました。
/(watashi wa) tanaka san ni purezento o agemashita./
I gave Tanaka-san a gift.
田中さんが（私に）プレゼントをくれました。
/tanaka san ga (watashi ni) purezento o kuremashita./
Tanaka-san gave me a gift.
（私は）田中さんにプレゼントをもらいました。
/(watashi wa) tanaka san ni purezento o moraimashita./
I received a gift from Tanaka-san.
母が鈴木さんにプレゼントをあげました。
/haha ga suzuki san ni purezento o agemashita./
My mother gave Suzuki-san a gift.
鈴木さんが母にプレゼントをくれました。
/suzuki san ga haha ni purezento o kuremashita./
Suzuki-san gave my mother a gift.
母が鈴木さんにプレゼントをもらいました。
/haha ga suzuki san ni purezento o moraimashita./
My mother received a gift from Suzuki-san.
Outside the UCHI Circle
田中さんが鈴木さんにプレゼントをあげました。
/tanaka san ga suzuki san ni purezento o agemashita./
Tanaka-san gave Suzuki-san a gift.
鈴木さんが田中さんにプレゼントをもらいました。
/suzuki san ga tanaka san ni purezento o moraimashita./
Suzuki-san received a gift from Tanaka-san.
Verb-by-Verb Summary
あげる
Giver が Receiver に Thing をあげる
Used when the giver is not the speaker’s uchi, or when the speaker gives something to others.
田中さんが鈴木さんにプレゼントをあげました。
/tanaka san ga suzuki san ni purezento o agemashita./
Tanaka-san gave Suzuki-san a gift.
くれる
Giver が Receiver (the speaker or someone close to the speaker) に Thing をくれる
Used when someone gives something to you or your uchi.
鈴木さんが（私の）息子にお菓子をくれました。
/suzuki san ga (watashi no) musuko ni okashi o kuremashita./
Suzuki-san gave my son some sweets.
もらう
Receiver が Giver (person, organisation, or institution) に Thing をもらう
Used from the receiver’s point of view.
田中さんが鈴木さんにプレゼントをもらいました。
/tanaka san ga suzuki san ni purezeznto o moraimashita./
Tanaka-san received a gift from Suzuki-san.
田中さんがコンテストで優勝して賞金をもらいました。
/tanaka san ga kontesuto de yuushoo shite shookin o moraimashita./
Tanaka-san won the contest and received prize money.
やる
Giver は／が Receiver (animal, plant, or small child) に Thing をやる
Used when giving something to animals, plants, or your own small child.
佐藤さんは花に水をやりました。
/satoo san wa hana ni mizu o yarimashita./
Sato-san watered the flowers.
*When talking about children, やる is usually only used for your own child. In many cases, あげる is preferred.
Short video
More!
In Japanese, giving and receiving actions can also be expressed using verbs in the て-form.
〜てあげる
〜てもらう
〜てくれる
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